


a secret greater than death

by Shadokin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant Up to 3x06 Cave Scence, F/F, Gen, Self-Reflection, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8840689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadokin/pseuds/Shadokin
Summary: Emma’s secret in the Echo Caves has absolutely nothing to do with Neal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha what is this? I never write for this show. I actually used to, but never published anything I ever did because it most of it was abandoned half way through. ANYWAY I started this right after 3x06 aired, so... long time ago. I got more than half of it written, then forgot where it was going, then wrote down notes if I ever came back to it and today I sort of did? Like, the last hour I wrote the last part and then I thought, welp, might as well post this. 
> 
> Also strong reminder: I use the definitions of Ao3 with characters relationships. */*mean romanctic and *&* mean platonic or otherwise non-romantic. I have also never posted in a really popular fandom before so please, be gentle.

“You can tell me anything.”

Emma believes him, so she crouches down outside the cage that won’t break and meets his eyes. Neal looks at her like her used to, willing to listen to her without judgment, and that makes it all the more agonizing.

She’s already dirty from running around the island, but her palms get sweaty anyway, and her heart picks up, realizing this is really happening and she just abandoned the search for Henry on the off chance Neal was alive, and _he is_ , and that only makes it worse.

Finally opening her mouth, Emma tells Neal the truth: of still loving him, but wishing he was dead. She thinks something flashes in his eyes, but it doesn’t matter because it’s the truth, and he’s alive, and Henry’s still out there, and they need to go now—

“Emma.” Neal’s voice allows her to focus back on the present, only to see the problem when Neal pushes the cage door, only for it to lock in place.

“It didn’t work?” She chokes out the question, gasping at the implications. Emma’s fingers go through the slits in the cage, reaching for Neal. His hands come up to meet hers. She needs to think.

Emma tugs the cage door. It jiggles in place, and remains jammed. She’s breathing heavy, and Emma tightens her grip on the cage, forcing herself to keep it together.

“Neal, I meant it. What I said—”

“There’s something else.” Neal supplies, nodding as he speaks like he’s known all along, and suddenly Emma’s pissed.

“Something _else_? What more does that— _argh_!” Emma tugs again, in vain, at the cage door. “Noisy, selfish Peter Pan want me to do!”

“No, Emma, I mean,” Neal licked his lips, shuffling within the confines of his prison. “What you told me wasn’t your secret.”

Her brow lifts, and her frown deepens.

“Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

There’s that flash in Neal’s eyes again.

“I’m not saying you are, but… it’s not your darkest secret.”

Emma wants to call bullshit, but the words feel weak in her throat, so she swallows them back down.

“I don’t… know what to say.” Emma admits, loosening her gripe on the cage.

“Whatever it is, I’m here.”

Emma knows that’s supposed to be reassuring, but she can’t actually _think_ of a bigger secret. It feels like a sham, to be so close to rescuing Neal only to have him placed just out of reach. And Henry was still out there, and she was _wasting_ valuable time be remaining here.

“Emma,” Neal says her name, seeing her distress. “It’s okay. If you can’t think of something else.”

She hardens. No. Emma refuses to abandon him now, but she needs to tell her darkest secret. Something more hidden than wishing for Neal’s death.

Neal sucks in a breath, seeing Emma’s eyes widen in realization. She’s very still, gaze set away from him. Back across the bridge, Emma’s parents and Hook stood, watching on in worry and curiosity.

When Emma looks to Neal again there’s a shine of sorts on her, a hidden radiance that blossomed from somewhere within. The rest of her body is still, bearing a grim-like burden. Neal doesn’t know what to make of it.

“Regina.”

The words are stones in her stomach. Emma is quiet for a long time, and Neal starts to worry.

“What about Regina?”

“That’s just it, there’s…” Emma’s eyes are directed downward, unable to meet Neal’s. “There’s something between us.”

She doesn’t know how loud she is, if her words carry through the cave to her parents and Hook. She’s shaking too, remembering her mom’s secret and what it meant for her.

“Emma…” Neal’s voice reaches her and she grounds herself in the sound.

“I don’t know,” Emma’s quick to say, “Something’s… now isn’t the time for this, her and I…” She just wants to get Neal and get Henry and get home.

Neal squeezes her hands, and Emma sighs and leans enough forward to rest her forehead against the cage. His hands are warm, but he’s far away. And every minute more makes her regret leaving Henry to the wilds of this place.

“I don’t want to think about what it could be.” Emma’s still talking, her voice so quiet now she knows only he can hear her. “I’m afraid of what it means.”

The wood on her head hums for a second, and Emma can feel the magic and pulls her hands away from Neal. He follows her moves and steps back as best he can as the door dissolves open.

Emma’s mouth is agape, but she can’t say anything more because then Neal is hugging her. Arms around her shoulders and she throws her arms around him, holding him tight. Her heart beats loudly against her ears, and she’s dizzy from the brand new thoughts her confession brought to the surface. It’s too muddled, too clouded to see through or understand. And there isn’t time.

There are tears down her face, and Neal pulls away and doesn’t say anything. He looks at her and nods.

It was time to get back to Regina, and time to save their son.


End file.
